The last two and a half years have given more to the authors of history books than it has to the writers of diaries.

Decades from now scholars will have a wealth of material for their accounts of this pivotal time, but when the people who lived through it look back on the timelines of their personal lives, many will find a gap where 2020, 2021 and 2022 should have been. For all its eventfulness, they have been lost years, in several senses of the word. On top of a heartbreakingly enormous loss of human lives, the pandemic paused many peoples progress on long-plotted family, health, and career goals. It forced countless celebrations and holiday gatherings either in to Zoom or out of existence. It warped our sense of time, causing month long stretches to seem interminable in the moment but like they passed in a blip in retrospect.

There really is something distinctive about the ‘lost years’ we have lived through. It has been full of tremendous learning and transition, heartbreak and fear, love and gratefulness.

Now we are coming to the end of 2022 and what lay before us is slowly becoming history. As it recedes into the past how does one look back on this blur?

Speaking only of my own lost years – I have been fortunate to pull through relatively unscathed. I definitely succumbed to a few (**cough cough**) ‘COVID Kilos’ and I am resigned to the fact that my constant battle between skinny and hot chips is going to be a lifelong war.

Admittedly though, there were harder weeks. When the highlights were the weekly trip to the supermarket, spent mind jumbled, heart racing, complexed wanting to draw out the taste of freedom and get away as fast as possible to reduce exposure chances. Getting home to desanitise the goods only to discover you had bought all of what you did not need and nothing of what you did.

The anxiety that built before the 1pm updates every day, having your first drink at 12pm to ground the butterflies (never seemed to forget wine from the supermarket),

The hangovers from blurring the afternoon away.

Not being able to touch Matt.

Living under the same roof as a Nana on repeat.

That was it, the extent of my hardships – if you can even call it that. Pales in comparison, so none of which I will grumble over.

But, ‘hardships’ aside I am now and will be forever grateful and extremely fortunate to have had years I do not want to forget.

My limits were pushed in more ways than anyone will understand, I moved in with a man I loved and gained a new family in the process, I found my place at work in which I’ve been challenged beyond belief. Spent some good, although enforced, time with my family that has left me with some very special memories. Cried as I watched my niece, dance so beautifully,  into the beginning of the rest of her life. A good friend gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I caught up and laughed with many friends, regularly, that normally months go by without a single word.

Although my reflections are simple – These past years have, without me even realising it, taught me an appreciation of moments that before were previously potentially overlooked.

It only feels as though the narrative of my life has been disrupted and when I think of where I am right now, I am not sure what story to tell myself about how I got here. But I am glad I am here. For the instability that was brought I have never felt more stable. Although on a very different path to how I started, I am choosing to go with it.

There is no debating that these years were a complete and utter shitshow but it bought with it time to reflect on where our priorities really lie and what is most important to us.

At some point another catastrophe beyond our ability to predict or control will occur and upend all our plans as we try to exert some control over the inherently unknowable future.

So, for now my one and only goal is to focus on doing what makes me happy. What I love with those I love, making memories and living in the moment. Not getting caught up in the drama and the bullshit that can quite seamlessly come with life and to just enjoy living. Basking in the little things – an unexpected kiss, a child’s laugh – that once had its existence questioned, laughing until your tummy hurts, lying under the stars and just making time.

Life is for living and how fortunate I am be living in a country that allows me to live, so this year that is exactly what I intend to do.

So although you are one for the history books I am hoping these next years bring us more for the diaries.

Remember..

– Time is a limited resource, do not waste it on people and things that don’t add value to your life

– Happiness is self-created – no one/nothing else can create it for you

– You are choosing your life moment by moment, do not forget about that

– You do not need to be productive all the time, taking some time for yourself is not lazy or selfish

– Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about – Do not be judgemental, be kind

– Sometimes silence is the best result. You do not have to have the last word

– Do not take anything for granted, be grateful for what you already have

– It is better to regret something that you did than the things you did not do

– Failure is inevitable for success

– Take responsibility for your every decision/action

– Actions speak louder than words

– Fear can kill you but only if you surrender to it

Live your best life! One you won’t have any regrets from.