Write a blog they say, I’d read it. OK I’ll write a blog then, this must be
my 75th attempt, surely it can’t be that difficult. But this time I google ‘How
to write a blog?”

1. Find your “big idea” – I rarely have ‘big’ ideas

2. Research Your genre – Firstly, I hardly know what that means. Secondly
how does one research when they have no idea where this is actually going to
go?

3. Create an outline – Of what? See the later of number 2.

4. Set up a productive space – Well this is never going to work as I live my
life in an organized chaos and also am a perfectionist (you can imagine what a
mind fuck that is) So I would spend more time creating Pinterest boards and
coordinating my stapler and my holepunch than actually writing this damn thing.

5. Keep yourself motivated – Hahahahahahaha

6. Set Goals – If I get through a full page I’ve already exceeded any goals
that I ever thought I’d reach

I think you get the point – Google was no help. Shall continue to only use
this platform for self diagnosis of life threatening diseases.

What I can tell you is what you will get. An unstructured, unfiltered,
potentially unedited account of an overweight, underachieving, anxiety-ridden,
functioning (term used loosely) alcoholic that talks too much and walks too
little navigating through her thirties and reminiscing on the series of both
fortunate and unfortunate events that have got her to where she is today, with
a loose plan of where it’s going to get her in the future.

A blog written like no other (and every other), you’ll follow me while I
embark on a weight loosing, alcohol reducing, movement increasing,
anti-smoking, mentally clarifying, Double degreeing, step-mothering, house
renovating, life answering, cup filling **insert any other social media
enforcing, Ghandi inspired, doctor directed, vegan, chocka mocka trim soy latte
gibber jab here** journey with exerts from my past, present, dreams of my
future, maybe some pictures (at this point I have no idea, maybe googles
suggestion 3 was not such a bad idea?) a couple of pictures, likely mostly of
my dog Charlie, that will probably make no sense whatsoever. To you, to me,
maybe to Charlie – she gets me sometimes better than I get myself.

It will also quite possibly be unintentionally offensive. If you find at any
point you are feeling offended. Unfollow and close the page – it’s not meant
for you.